If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
