i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
