it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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