the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
