New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
