It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
