So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
