Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
