my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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