You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
