my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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