I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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