You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
