...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So much Jack, so little girl.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
