glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
