all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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