In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My feet surprised me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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