your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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