i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
