North Korea, Best Korea!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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