Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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