i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
