it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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