just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
