My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You took a bar mat shot.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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