i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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