TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I could fuck to npr.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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