Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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