Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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