No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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