I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
3pm strippers are depressing
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
