i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
