Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
