I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
