do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
