They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
