I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
last night I used snow as a chaser
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
