i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
false alarm, still single
Randomize