I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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