bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
