she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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