You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
