The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's official drugs can't kill me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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