Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
