the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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