a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
