how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
