This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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