I just threw up on my dentist
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
