He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
