dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
