I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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