So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
