maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm sobbing to NWA
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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