I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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