Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
