Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
