I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
